Sometimes what stands out for me in my life is that I have withstood more bearing than most in life. But who am I to make that assessment, and why should I need another to compare my life to, to make such an assessment? Well I guess I don't and neither do you. After all what does it really do on a healing level to compare your burdens to another? Isn't there enough pain in your own hurt to create validation? I have always loved what Susan Jeffers said, "Since when did we ever get into a competition of, 'Who could be the most pathetic?'" I have most definitely learned that lesson and have caught myself many times to keep from returning to that choice of "all that exists to a worm in horseradish is, well horseradish" (an old Yiddish saying-and a great one at that 'eh?).
Although the fact does remain, even in living a healing path, there is no denying that there is pain, there are setbacks, and you do take the hand of fear when you want to move forward. A quote I came across this weekend, was by D'Amato, "Heroes and cowards feel the exact same fear, they just respond differently" The most profound history makers, have all felt fear, that's just it, they FELT fear and they moved through it. That is the point, to not get stuck, but to move in spite of the fear and the challenges.
Pain, loneliness, sadness...How to deal with it, when no one is there to hold you? Can it even be done? Is that even possible? Yes it can and it does. Now how to deal with it is usually the question left lingering. Much of the wisdom I have ever come across has done a really amazing job of telling the what, but I do have to say that so many painful nights I was left not knowing the how, especially all alone. The how, in my opinion goes in the way of coping, well coping done alone can be quite a tumultuous climb, yet most of our pain bearing occurs in isolation. Why is that, I still wonder? Either way, I promised you the how. How will come in many forms and it will be different at any given time. I suppose that is why this topic is left in it's own abandonment many times.
You may have heard these suggestions in different ways, but perhaps not as a menu of choices. When you are feeling beaten down, isolated, and incapable of taking one more breath, first and most importantly, remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE, NO MATTER HOW ALONE YOU FEEL!
I promise you this Truth. The menu of choices available for healing pain are:
Write, journal, call a friend, if no one is available and you need a hug, hug yourself! Music is extremely healing, drive, just go...get away even if only for a few minutes, breathing, deep breathing, even hire a breath work teacher(Google it) Hit a pillow even with a baseball bat to release anger, sleep with guided imagery (Google Belleruth Napartsek) drive and yell with the windows rolled up, cry, hurt, get mad, the point really is to FEEL! When we feel E-motion which is really energy-in-motion we can be a channel to the pain that must pass through less it manifest as something stagnant (a whole other article) Better to let things move through than to camp out and become pain's container. It may not feel that way in the moment of the excruciating emotion, but I assure you the saying, "This too shall pass", was True, maybe not empathetic, but nonetheless True.
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