I always thought, and was always taught that being INDEPENDENT was what we should all be striving for. But Stephen Covey (author of: 7 Habits of Highly Successful People) tells us that that is NOT the most effective way to live our lives.
From the day we are created we depend on our mothers for our survival and from the moment we are born we begin the path of learning to do things for ourselves. It's a gradual process and if our parents are nurturing us in the right way, we will become more and more independent until we are eventually able to manage well on our own. But do we ever really manage completely on our own? Of course we don't but many of us still strive to manage on our own as much as we possibly can.
Stephen Covey tells us that whilst as adults we will ideally be "self-reliant and capable", he also tells us that we can achieve so much more with the help of others. Interdependency is what we need to have in order be at our most effective, NOT independence.
Now this sounds obvious doesn't it, but we often miss the obvious don't we? And I don't think we realise just HOW MUCH we'd be able to achieve if we pool our resources in the right way.
Rather than striving just to be independent, we should ideally strive to be EFFECTIVE. And we can't be as effective without each other. We can never possess all the character aspects and skills to do everything on our own so teamwork will always pay dividends whether it's in relation to your family, friends or your work.
Businesses are good examples of interdependency, they wouldn't be able to exist and flourish if they didn't employ people with the differing areas of expertise required to make their businesses function efficiently.
I work in the internet marketing world and that's one industry where interdependence is very evident. Internet marketers don't necessarily employ people to help them like a large company would, but instead, they "joint venture" with other self employed marketers who possess the skills that they don't have. It's a very constructive process and a win-win situation. These people are not paranoid about others stealing their secrets and their customers, but see things in a more positive light, instead they see that they can expand and share their knowledge, help others and reach a wider audience by promoting each other to each other's customers.
It's great to see people that are co-operating and building profitable working relationships rather than being possessive and paranoid about their knowledge, thinking that someone will steal it and ruin their business. Interdependency is simply a different and better way of thinking and behaving.
If you're someone who is used to having people look after you practically and emotionally, then you have some way to go as you won't be able to go straight from being DEPENDENT to being interdependent.
You have to have the inner strength of independence first in order to move on to being interdependent. By inner strength I mean that you know that your life is not controlled by what others will or won't do for you and how others feel about you.
It is from a position of inner strength and confidence that you are in a position to CHOOSE to let others help you and for you to CHOOSE to help others. You don't NEED each other as you know you can survive on your own, but you DO know that great benefits come from working together in a positive and constructive manner rather than in a dependent manner and that through being INTERDEPENDENT you will score your greatest achievements.
Interdependency requires another step up in inner strength however, as you must move away from wanting to be in total control. That can be very difficult for independent people at first. You now will have to hand over some of that control to others, along with your trust.
Helen is the author of the Richer Life Bulletin. The Richer Life Bulletin provides regular relevant information, tips and support with the aim of helping people who want to improve their lives. It is sent out free of charge. http://www.richerlifebulletin.com/
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